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My blog has moved! Please come visit my new home, "Intimate Journey of a Stepmom". Thanks!

Kids

For being someone who has never wanted kids, I sure do get this unfamiliar strong feeling well up inside of me when it comes to two very special girls. I never imagined that kids could make me feel so much love, satisfaction, happiness, and protective! It's unchartered territory, but I think I like it =)

How to handle the ex-wfe... HELP!

I'm brand new with this experience. The man I've been dating for the past year is divorced and has 2 children with his ex-wife. The only thing I've ever been frustrated with in this relationship has been her. I'm not positive my frustrations are justifiable, or if I'm just being insecure. Over the past month with the little one being in the hospital, I feel like they talk and communicate more than he talks to me. I know the communication between them is necessary, b/c they are the parents, and I am not, but I don't think I should be left out of the loop either. It would be so much easier if she were a nice person, but unfortunately she is not. She throws fits, screams, cries, and threatens to get her way. She is not respectful towards J whatsoever, and does not follow any of the court-ordered mandates dealing with who gets the kids when, while J follows them to a "T". I just wish he wouldn't let her run over him so much, and abuse her priviledges. I feel she uses him, and knows she can get whatever she wants because he gives in just to keep the peace. That's important for the kids, I know, but what kind of behavior patterns does that teach them? And can I deal with this for another 10-15 years? I have voiced my feelings and concerns to J once or twice, but I still get so frustrated, b/c nothing has changed. We can hardly enjoy a day of peace together without calls or texts from her. I just keep quiet for the most part, but I think that's about to end. I know if I start acting like her, it won't solve anything either. So, I'm caught in a tight place, trying to maintain a good balance and navigate through this delicate situation without drowning, or being drowned.

Top Ten Likes

10.Puppy kisses.
9. Getting a pedicure.
8. Coloring with the girls.
7. Watching football on a lazy fall Saturday/Sunday.
6. The smell of coffee.
5. Receiving unexpected money.
4. Laying in a hammock on the beach.
3. Creating and cooking a meal with my honey.
2. The 5:00 "Honey I'm home" hug and kiss.
1. Crawling into a bed just made with crisp freshly laundered sheets.

Top Ten Dislikes

Ten random Dislikes I just felt like sharing:

10.Car Problems
9. Being told "Whatever"
8. Drama queens (could be male or female)
7. Airport Security
6. Other Drivers
5. Beer
4. Flavorless Food
3. Yard Work
2. House Repairs
1. Being called a "Princess"

What a week!

My boyfriend's little 5 year old has been in the hospital for 7 days now. It has been very scary, but we are on the upswing finally. She had influenza B, followed by MRSA pneumonia, which has a mortality rate of over 50%. Thank goodness, she's improving, and making progress daily. I'm ready to get back to routine, and sleeping in my own bed at normal hours! Hopefully the transition back to home will be smooth for Kendall, and she'll bounce back to normal without expecting to still be treated like a sick, helpless baby! I want her to be strong and have a little bigger picture of the world around her through this experience, so that it will make her a little less focused on herself. Maybe that's too much to ask of a 5-year-old, but I know she can do it!

Emotional Week

Turmoil in the household as 5 year old Kendall has been in the hospital for 2 days now, and won't be released for at least a week. She has the flu and secondary pneumonia. Poor thing hasn't eaten or drank anything. She's so weak and can hardly move or talk. She has occasional coughing fits which hurt and scare her so bad that it leads to crying fits. It's so hard to go into the room and act normal and be happy and strong for her. As I kissed her goodnight, she reached out and grabbed my hand and just wouldn't let go. I wanted to cry, but held it back. Then, I had to take care of Jillian all night, and wait for J to get home from the hospital. I needed to be strong for both of them, and understanding about not celebrating Valentine's Day. I feel so selfish wanting some time to just cry by myself for a little bit!