Friday, February 03, 2006

The Darkness

Questions fill my head these days.
I doubt the directions of my own ways.
It's not that I'm asking "Why?";
I don't sit around and cry.
No, it's this spider web of confusion
That has caused such disillusion
Of entanglement in my senseless thoughts.
I'm left focusing on fragments and dots
While the complete picture
Fades
into the
darkness.

Darkness that comes from unmet hopes
As my disappointed heart still gropes
For answers to what is going on;
What picture is being drawn
On the canvas of my life?
I constantly go through such strife
Within, just hoping to understand
Where I'm meant to lend a helping hand.
Or has that ideal become mere fantasy
Swallowed
by the
darkness?

I've remained still for quite some time,
Listening for answers Divine
Of where I am so grossly failing.
It seems as though I am trailing
So far behind the rest.
When comes the end of this test?
Others' joy has been my pain;
Their sunshine is my rain.
So my heart closes and hides
Away
in the
darkness.

Yet the darkness brings no comfort sweet;
It's merely a temporary retreat
For a heart so full of tears.
There's no solution in hiding for years.
Confusion is dispelled and answers found
Only when Light and Love abound.
Some hurts are needed to really appreciate love.
So I'll take the risk with help from above.
And hear my answers with a step
Out
of the
darkness.

9 comments:

Kc said...

What a perfect expression of faith. The darkness seems to seek us out at times but thank God the Light shines all around us!

Katie said...

and you wondered why I called you lyrical? Beautifully expressive of honest reflection and truth.

Elisa said...

My husband's mentor and dear friend Elliott Greene, told him in a period of uncertainity to remember in the darkness what you learned in the light. Sometimes these days of fog and gloom are meant to bring us closer to the Light. Periods of discipline are there to encourage us that we are loved by a Great Father. Our times of weakness are ways that Christ shows us His enduring strength. When we are underfire, we are being refined as silver. We are pruned in order to bear more fruit. Isn't is funny that the suffering is a blessing?
One of my favorite songs is by Steven Curtis Chapman- "God is God." (Declaration Album)
Part of it says, and you've probably heard it:
"God is God and I am not.
I can only see a part of the picture He is painting.
God is God and I am man.
So I'll never understand it all,
For only God is God."

steve said...

then I ate biscuits
and cheese whiz on triscuits
where did yo' phone go
I guess you've missed it

Bill said...

Wow Krisit, you never cease to amaze me. that was really heart felt and amazing.

Corry said...

Beautiful poem, girl. May God grant you the desires of your heart soon!

Love you.

God's Grace.

Kristi B. said...

Steve, you never cease to make me laugh out loud!

audrey` said...

A very nice poem.
Jesus would like to hold your hand and walk together with you. He loves you very much. I love you too :)
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

beautiful, kristi. when there's darkness, there's light.

God bless.