No time, so here you go...

Your Eyes Should Be Gray

Your eyes reflect: Intensity and drive What's hidden behind your eyes: A sensitive soul

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

Throughout your busy activities at the lake or beach, with family or friends, playing games, BBQ-ing, and having a great time, don't forget to remember the reason for the holiday. Thank God for the men and women who have given their lives for this country.

Hope Against Hope

(I haven't written in traditional, stanza, set meter form in quite some time. So I thought I'd give it a whirl once again.)

Though I'd hoped against hope,
And brought my desires to God,
I'm still trying to cope
With heaven's disappointing nod.

Why does it hurt so bad?
I knew this end was probable.
Why do I feel so sad?
This just didn't seem possible.

Was it that hard a task?
I wanted something very small.
Was it too much to ask
For this one to give you his all?

The only one who's proved
To want more than friendship with me.
Why couldn't You have moved
That our hearts could beat in unity?

So many wasted years
Holding fast to an empty dream.
Why not just face my fears
And release this hopeful gleam.

But no. I see God move--
Slightly, but unmistakable.
I'll just wait while God proves
His word to be unbreakable.

So I'll hope against hope
And commit to prayer once again.
And pray I can cope
With what I find in the end.

So, so busy....

Sorry I haven't been around. Super busy! Just sayin' "Hi" real quick!

She's Da Dawg!

So, Cinnamon suddenly decides she's gonna take it upon herself to be tough Little Miss Guard Dog! She has made it her duty to protect me from anything and everything that seems even a tad bit out of the ordinary. Ha ha ha. (I get such a kick out of this--cuz she's so tiny, ya' know, but she thinks she's really tough. Sorta reminds me of me!)

The other morning, I took her outside as usual to take care of business. As I do, there's a man going for a morning run out in the street. Cinnamon bolts like lightning, tail tucked, ears back, racing after this guy, and starts barking it up. (I've only heard her bark one other time, and it was a little, quiet bark, so naturally, I was really surprised!)

I called her back to me, and she comes struttin back, holding her head high and proud, with the look on her face like, "Aren't you proud of me? Look what I did! I chased that man so far; he won't ever bother you again. I just protected you from sure death or other countless, horrible things. There's no telling what he might have done. Did you see how fast I ran, and how scary my bark was? Yeah, I know, I'm sooo good! I'm DA DAWG, YO!"

Okay, so maybe the look didn't say ALL that, but you get the point!

Anyways, last night I decide to do some sit-ups and push-ups before I go to bed, since I haven't been at the gym, and I'm starting to notice it! So, I get down on the floor and start doing some sit-ups. Cinnamon comes over, and starts looking at me like I've lost my mind!

After about 10 sit-ups, she'd had enough of whatever these weird movements were I was doing. So she puts her front two feet on my chest and pushes me back down to the ground. Then she procedes to climb on top of me and stand on all fours just daring me to try to sit up again. She glared at me like, "I will NOT have you hurting yourself. I didn't let that man hurt you, I don't let anyone hurt you, and I definitely won't have you hurting yourself!"

How can I say no to that? So, as much as I wanted to keep doing sit-ups, and as much as it just killed me to stop, I decided for her peace of mind, I would have to, just this once until she gets used to me doing sit-ups!

Have a great weekend, y'all!

SCENE IV

Familiarity is quickly exiting to backstage as all manner of unknown, uncertain, unproved, untried, and untested characters prepare to dominate center stage for the next scene in my life. Comfort flees with familiarity and a new guy, Uneasiness, takes up residence as these new and strange surroundings arrive.

The change of caste accompanies a change of places, people, situations, and relationships.
However, the most captivating detail of all is watching the transformations during each scene. Somehow, throughout the course of events and happenings, Doubt morphs into Trust, Uneasiness into Peace, and Unknown into Familiar.

See, this character Constant is a proud fellow. He thinks that if he is not occupying center stage, then Peace, Trust, Hope, Confidence, Comfort, or Joy could not be on stage either. After all, how could Peace be acting along side of Change?

But that is where this all begins to make a little sense. See Constant IS present. No matter how uncertain the future is, what career changes and location changes lie ahead, what people move out of my life, and what new ones move in, no matter how many dreams have not come true, and how many times this heart has been broken, one relationship is always constant. One Person is always present to ensure that yes, peace, trust, hope, confidence, and joy can all be present even while Change occupies a piece of the stage.

How does this work? Because this relationship is with the Director, Jesus Christ, and He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He provides stability in such an uncertain world. He's the One who transforms doubt into trust, uneasiness into peace, and unknown into familiar. The Director alone knows when and how this scene will end, and if it will perhaps be the final. Therefore, a relationship with Him is a must if I am to have any certainty at all about my future.

I think of all the uncertainties looming in the minds of Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, Ruth, Mary, Peter, Paul, and John as the play of their lives was being written. But each one of these gave their uncertainties to God and moved by faith.

Yes, Change in many different forms is beginning to take over the stage. Yes, doubt and uneasiness lurk in the shadows. However, I have faith that the Director knows what He is doing, and that brings Peace and Contentment into the limelight as Scene IV unfolds.

And now for the picture version...

My friend Mary and her new orange convertible VW Bug.

Harmony and Trint

Kc, Corry, and Amber at Bellingrath Gardens

Another shot from the Gardens

Did I mention that I went to a rodeo with 4 crazy guys?

And here's Cinnamon, chillin in the shade under my chair at the beach.

One more road trip under my belt!

Five and a half days and 1525 driven (not flown... although some could contest that my driving is quite similar to flying) miles later, I suppose I'm none the worse for wear, and I now have quite a nice tan after only a few hours on Pensacola beach!

I did have a great trip! Thanks for all the well-wishes and prayers for safety and a good time. I was able to catch up with so many friends, and even meet new ones. I managed to navigate through Birmingham, AL during a major thunder/lightning/hail storm, and meet my friend Mary (who I haven't seen in 5 years) for a great BBQ dinner.

I went on to Tuscaloosa and spent a day with Harmony and Trint--good friends from college. They've been married almost 2 years now, and are just as cute as can be!

From there, I headed down to Mobile to meet Kc and Corry, and their daughter Amber. We had so much fun. I was greeted with some wonderful steaks straight off the grill, salad (just the way I like it!), corn on the cob, delicious bread, on and on.... They know how to feed ya' down there, let me just tell you! Oh yeah, and a bag of Reese's peanut butter cups too... can't forget those!

We talked, and chilled, and relaxed. Then Kc got his guitar out and we started jammin'. Okay, not really "jammin" but it was fun anyways! =) And Corry surprised me with a great drawing she did from my profile pic! She's amazing! They took me to Bellingrath gardens the next day, and let me add that God was really gracious with the weather the whole time I was there. The forecast did not look good, but God gave us perfect weather. Anyways, this garden place was absolutely beautiful.

I will post pictures once I see how they turned out. Kc posted some pics on his blog, but I don't have time to do the link-thing now. (What am I talking about?... I don't have time to even be doing this right now, but oh well!)

Anyways, I eventually had to leave these sweet people after such a short visit, and head to Pensacola. My brother's performance in the play was outstanding! He's a natural I guess. But while I was there, I ran into so many other college friends from my infamous days there as a student. I did manage to rip away from all of them long enough to sneak in a few hours alone (well, Cinnamon was with me) at the beach.

Can I just add that Cinnamon (my little dog) made a great travelling companion. I'm glad I decided to bring her with me. She seemed to enjoy it too.

Also got to hear Pastor Schettler (Campus Church in Pensacola) preach again. I really respect and admire him. His ministry has really helped me a lot.

I was able to spend a little time with my brother's girlfriend, Monica, which is always tons of fun! She just informed me that she does read this, but is not able to comment for some reason, so HI! Monica!

On the way home, some good friends of ours were travelling with us until we got to Montgomery. Then they headed north on 65 to 59, and my bro. and I got on 85 north. Well, a couple hours later, they had a flat tire and were stranded in the middle of nowhere. Everything was already closed for the night in the closest little town, and on top of all that the cell phone went dead and they didn't have a charger. Poor guys! Well, we finally heard from them 4 hours later and they said someone had come to help them, and they were back on the road again. Those poor guys! I'm glad they didn't have to stay there all night though.

Anyhow, I'm back at work now. Woo-hoo! I was really enjoying a life of 100% socializing. But, back to reality! Work this summer is going to be even more hectic than predicted, because a guy in my department just resigned. So, the work that is usually split between 3 of us will have to be split between only 2 of us. But, it's okay. We'll get-'er-done!

I'll post pictures just as soon as possible. My digital camera is broken, so it's not quite as easy to get them from the camera to my blog anymore! All in good time.

I can't wait to catch up on what's going on with all of you.

Peace.

A Little Less Face Time for me.

With May now upon us, my life begins to get hectic. In the work that I do, the busiest time of year is May, June, and July as we balance and close out the old fiscal year, and establish the budget for the new year. I'm telling you this just to simply say that my posts here will not be as regular as I would like for a few months. I will get on here and visit you all as often as possible, but I may have to do most of that over the weekends. We will see. Feel free to drop in and send emails or whatever. I will do my best to respond to those in a timely manner.

I am leaving this Thursday afternoon, and slowly making my way down to Florida. I say slowly, because Thursday night, I'll be staying with my college friend Harmony and her husband Trint, and then Friday night, I'll be staying with Kc and Corry. Then sometime Saturday afternoon or evening, I'll head over to Pensacola to see my brother and pick him up from college for the summer. He's got the lead role in the Shakespeare play "Much Ado About Nothing", so I'll get to see him perform Monday night.

Well, that's about it. I'll be around, just maybe not as much.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Keep it real,

Kristi

Pet Peeve of mine

You want to know something that really bothers me? Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyways. So stop reading now if you know what's good for you!

What really, really bothers me is when a person doesn't even care to even TRY to understand me or what I'm saying. When I get the "don't explain; I won't understand" line, it just tears me up! I don't understand why someone would not WANT to understand. I guess it just bothers me more than it would most people because I DO use a lot of time and effort trying to understand people. That's what I do. When you say something, I'm thinking what made you say it; why you said it in that manner; what kind of response you may be looking for; what else can I tell went UN-said by what you DID say. I mean, yeah, I'm an analyzer I guess.

I need to stop letting things like this bother me. Not everyone cares to understand, and I shouldn't take it personal. I think that's the key to this whole thing. I take it as personal rejection if someone doesn't want to take the time to listen so they can understand. When, in reality, it's not personal rejection. It doesn't change our relationship or how they feel about me. They just don't place any importance on understanding, when I place much importance on it. I guess it boils down to a conflict of values and personalities.

Okay, I'm done with my self-psychology session. Goodness, I read through that and felt like I was both a patient and the psychologist treating myself. Crazy. Just wanted to think through that a little bit.

So, what do you all have planned for the weekend?

You have to read this

The Evolution of God, an article masterfully written and presented by Adam over at the Protestant Pub is a must-read. Here's a little sample:

The God portrayed within the Old Testament is one of frightfully short nerves. One that demands respect and fear and is not hesitant to rein fire from heaven to be sure such respect and fear is given Him.

We then proceed a little further within history and the Biblical testimony and find this same God humbling Himself so fully that we find Him a little pooping baby; a toddler being led about by a mortal human and then an adult washing feet and waiting tables. We likewise see a beaten heap of bloody flesh that is cursed and reviled and yet never offers defense of Himself.

A beautiful God so loving that He would unite in marriage Himself to putrid and ugly sinners.

The Jesus of the Gospels seems a far cry from the Yahweh of the Old.

Go read the complete article and be blessed.

What have I done now?

How many times have you just wanted to KICK yourself, good and hard? Well, that's what I have felt like the past couple days. I've had this really good friend for a long time, and I messed it up. I didn't intend to; I didn't want to; if I had thought through things, I would've never even told this person these things. But we got to talking, and I was having a rough time with some other things already, so I go and tell him that I have feelings for him, or had feelings for him, and that I don't know which...

Oh my word, Kristi! What a mess.

Let me just say, in case you don't already know it, that when you are emotional already and confused about other things is NOT the time to have the "I like you" conversation.

Thank you. That is all for now.

It's a good day.

I finally got a spot in the parking garage!!!! Woo-Hoo! (Those of you who have been reading for a while KNOW how much of a hassle parking has been for me the past year and a half!)

I started a MySpace account at the urging of some college friends, and have been running into so many people I haven't talked to in years! It's pretty cool.

It's Friday!

Several Specially Selected Shakespearean Sonnets

Okay, that was a really fun title! Anyways, in case you didn't know it, I LOVE Shakespeare's writings, especially his sonnets. Yes, they are written in Old English, but if you take the time to think about what you are reading, it's not that hard to understand. He was extremely talented in his abilities to communicate truth and principles through verse.

Here are some sonnets I chose because they are personal favorites of mine. Enjoy and ponder. Some, you are probably already familiar with; others, you may not be so familiar. Have fun!


****************************************
10
For shame deny that thou bear'st love to any,
Who for thy self art so unprovident.
Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,
But that thou none lov'st is most evident:
For thou art so possessed with murderous hate,
That 'gainst thy self thou stick'st not to conspire,
Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate
Which to repair should be thy chief desire.
O! change thy thought, that I may change my mind:
Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?
Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,
Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:
Make thee another self for love of me,
That beauty still may live in thine or thee.

18
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

29
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

60
Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,
So do our minutes hasten to their end;
Each changing place with that which goes before,
In sequent toil all forwards do contend.
Nativity, once in the main of light,
Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crowned,
Crooked eclipses 'gainst his glory fight,
And Time that gave doth now his gift confound.
Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth
And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,
Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,
And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:
And yet to times in hope, my verse shall stand
Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

61
Is it thy will, thy image should keep open
My heavy eyelids to the weary night?
Dost thou desire my slumbers should be broken,
While shadows like to thee do mock my sight?
Is it thy spirit that thou send'st from thee
So far from home into my deeds to pry,
To find out shames and idle hours in me,
The scope and tenor of thy jealousy?
O, no! thy love, though much, is not so great:
It is my love that keeps mine eye awake:
Mine own true love that doth my rest defeat,
To play the watchman ever for thy sake:
For thee watch I, whilst thou dost wake elsewhere,
From me far off, with others all too near.

90
Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now;
Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross,
Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow,
And do not drop in for an after-loss:
Ah! do not, when my heart hath 'scaped this sorrow,
Come in the rearward of a conquered woe;
Give not a windy night a rainy morrow,
To linger out a purposed overthrow.
If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last,
When other petty griefs have done their spite,
But in the onset come: so shall I taste
At first the very worst of fortune's might;
And other strains of woe, which now seem woe,
Compared with loss of thee, will not seem so.

116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

*above selections all written by William Shakespeare

I know it's a lot, but geez... it's hard to chose from over 150!

Pensacola Beach

I am stuck in a phase of having nothing to say. Here's some pictures of Pensacola Beach. I will be going back there in a couple weeks. Man! I miss those beaches--they are the best!

It's just beautiful... I can't wait!

Hopefully, my brain will start working again soon, and I will have something more substantial for you later!

Weekend Ramblings

Let the beach times begin!

Yep. I went to the beach Saturday. It was beautiful, but pretty windy and very crowded! Still was nice to get out there. I took Cinnamon with me. She absolutely LOVED running along the edge of the beach. She wore me out. I couldn't keep up with her! Anyways, on the way there, I saw an absolutely SWEET Ferrari. I kept trying to take pics out the windshield with my phone. Here's the best that I got:

I sure wouldn't mind taking that V12, who-knows-how-many-horsepower-engine for a spin!

So, if Saturday wasn't cool enough, Easter Sunday rocked! Our little church (at the most, we have 100 on Sunday mornings) does a community Easter sunrise service each year. Yesterday, we had 600+ in attendance! The Word was preached and many got saved. Praise the Lord.

Then, it got pretty emotional last night. One of our church members got shipped off to Iraq this morning. So last night we had a goodbye party type of thing for him. I've known him since I was just in diapers, so it was pretty tough to say goodbye. Anyhow, keep Mr. Gantt in your prayers as well as his wife when you think about it, along with all of our soldiers over there and their families here.

That is all my ramblings for now. =) Happy Monday.

I saved 3 lives today

I donated blood. Have you?

Truly Loved

The concept of love became increasingly blurred,
Slurred, and eventually not even preferred
Over being alone.

The shallow hearts had whispered their empty words,
I heard; my heart stirred momentarily,
But then broke, and retreated.

I promised myself no more confusion and dead-end conclusions.
I sought a resolution to the pain and delusion
Of this great intrusion upon my heart.

Maybe the answer was in building a wall to my emotions.
Devotion and attention-seeking motions would never again
Penetrate this stronghold.

However, darkness soon settled and requested a new solution.
Widespread pollution and stubborn refusion of love
Does not destroy its necessity.

Perhaps loving all, freely, openly, with no reservation
Would be the redeeming preservation
Of some form of love in my life.

But alas, this philosophy burns deep as well.
Into hell, and I fell completely apart
And finally, could no longer feel or be felt.

So this is the wreck, the hurting, lonely soul you have found.
Nothing profound; just a limp body on the ground
Needing the breath of life and love.

You touch me. You bring me close and hold me.
You fold me, and cold dissipates into your warmth
As you whisper softly in my ear.

You tell me you can teach me of true love; of passion,
And my reaction is quite a distraction
Because initially I’m very reluctant.

But you persist. You stop talking and start showing
Love is flowing, and I am glowing
In this previously unknown joy.

I let myself be truly loved for the first time,
And the rhyme and laughter divine that fill my soul
Heal the hurts of the past.

Gradually, I respond to your gentle urging
Purging out faults, and now surging with desire
To love you back.

So I thank you for giving love to me unreservedly
Now I see, I can be loved unselfishly;
Because I feel your heart.

With great wonder I face each new day;
And each way you say, “I love you;
You are precious.”

Just because I don't have much...

...doesn't mean everyone else has nothing to say.

We've got some good discussions going on at the Protestant Pub as well as the forum there.

Kc has posted some wonderfully informative and helpful articles regarding church discipline.

Stephanie has recently finished detailing her 8-day missions trip to Jamaica, complete with beautiful pictures.

And my good friend Lance has recently started a MSN Space. Go on over there to Lance's Lounge... "a place where one can always chill and speak what they feel", and leave him some encouraging comments. Tell him I sent ya'!

Everyone else I read has great stuff going on as well... I'm sorry, I just don't have the time to get it up here right now. So leave us comments promoting your blog and what you have going on over there.

Peace!

Does anyone understand ME?

Some things happen to use in life, and we just do not understand what is going on. Well, it's true for me, anyways. Some things look so right in our own eyes, and by our own understanding, and yet no one else seems to understand us or see it our way.

Do you ever wish that someone would just be able to look at you and understand how you're feeling; understand your needs at that very moment, without you having to go through the effort of explaining, and communicating, and hoping you won't be misunderstood? Would be nice, huh? Do you ever wish that someone could know how miserably you have failed, and just help you up, forgive, and get you going in the right direction once again without you having to go through the whole story of what you did, why you did it, what led you to do it, etc, etc.? Do you get irritated with friends for not noticing that , "Hell-lloo?? I'm hurting here... Can't you see it?"

The One we need to go to when we feel this way is usually the exact One we shy away from. We feel guilty for letting Him down. We feel ashamed for not being faithful. We feel embarrassed for not being true to the blood that bought us. We're too proud to admit our wrong and ask for forgiveness and grace once again.

But we can take comfort in the fact that He won't misunderstand us. He DOES already know how we feel and what we need. He simply asks us to humble ourselves, and confess our sins. He'll be faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us. He will get us through whatever we are facing that we don't understand. He made us. He knows us. He knows what He's doing in our lives, even when we don't understand it. And He calls to us, "Trust ME."

He is my lover, helper, and friend.
He loves me.
He loves me just the way I am.
He loves me enough to not let me stay the way I am.
He loves me by correcting me.
He loves me even when I don’t love back.
He helps me.
He helps me overcome my enemies.
He helps me through each day, and each moment.
He helps me cope in times of sorrow.
He helps me when I just don’t know what to do.
He’s my friend.
He’s my friend by listening to my cares.
He’s my friend by telling me what I need to hear.
He’s my friend by remaining loyal no matter what
He’s my friend by encouraging my spirit.


This old hymn is in my head today:

"Jesus is all the world to me, my life, my joy, my all;
He is my strength from day to day, without Him I would fall.
When I am sad, to Him I go, no other one can cheer me so;
When I am sad, He makes me glad, He’s my Friend."