Pet Peeve of mine

You want to know something that really bothers me? Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyways. So stop reading now if you know what's good for you!

What really, really bothers me is when a person doesn't even care to even TRY to understand me or what I'm saying. When I get the "don't explain; I won't understand" line, it just tears me up! I don't understand why someone would not WANT to understand. I guess it just bothers me more than it would most people because I DO use a lot of time and effort trying to understand people. That's what I do. When you say something, I'm thinking what made you say it; why you said it in that manner; what kind of response you may be looking for; what else can I tell went UN-said by what you DID say. I mean, yeah, I'm an analyzer I guess.

I need to stop letting things like this bother me. Not everyone cares to understand, and I shouldn't take it personal. I think that's the key to this whole thing. I take it as personal rejection if someone doesn't want to take the time to listen so they can understand. When, in reality, it's not personal rejection. It doesn't change our relationship or how they feel about me. They just don't place any importance on understanding, when I place much importance on it. I guess it boils down to a conflict of values and personalities.

Okay, I'm done with my self-psychology session. Goodness, I read through that and felt like I was both a patient and the psychologist treating myself. Crazy. Just wanted to think through that a little bit.

So, what do you all have planned for the weekend?

You have to read this

The Evolution of God, an article masterfully written and presented by Adam over at the Protestant Pub is a must-read. Here's a little sample:

The God portrayed within the Old Testament is one of frightfully short nerves. One that demands respect and fear and is not hesitant to rein fire from heaven to be sure such respect and fear is given Him.

We then proceed a little further within history and the Biblical testimony and find this same God humbling Himself so fully that we find Him a little pooping baby; a toddler being led about by a mortal human and then an adult washing feet and waiting tables. We likewise see a beaten heap of bloody flesh that is cursed and reviled and yet never offers defense of Himself.

A beautiful God so loving that He would unite in marriage Himself to putrid and ugly sinners.

The Jesus of the Gospels seems a far cry from the Yahweh of the Old.

Go read the complete article and be blessed.

What have I done now?

How many times have you just wanted to KICK yourself, good and hard? Well, that's what I have felt like the past couple days. I've had this really good friend for a long time, and I messed it up. I didn't intend to; I didn't want to; if I had thought through things, I would've never even told this person these things. But we got to talking, and I was having a rough time with some other things already, so I go and tell him that I have feelings for him, or had feelings for him, and that I don't know which...

Oh my word, Kristi! What a mess.

Let me just say, in case you don't already know it, that when you are emotional already and confused about other things is NOT the time to have the "I like you" conversation.

Thank you. That is all for now.

It's a good day.

I finally got a spot in the parking garage!!!! Woo-Hoo! (Those of you who have been reading for a while KNOW how much of a hassle parking has been for me the past year and a half!)

I started a MySpace account at the urging of some college friends, and have been running into so many people I haven't talked to in years! It's pretty cool.

It's Friday!

Several Specially Selected Shakespearean Sonnets

Okay, that was a really fun title! Anyways, in case you didn't know it, I LOVE Shakespeare's writings, especially his sonnets. Yes, they are written in Old English, but if you take the time to think about what you are reading, it's not that hard to understand. He was extremely talented in his abilities to communicate truth and principles through verse.

Here are some sonnets I chose because they are personal favorites of mine. Enjoy and ponder. Some, you are probably already familiar with; others, you may not be so familiar. Have fun!


****************************************
10
For shame deny that thou bear'st love to any,
Who for thy self art so unprovident.
Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,
But that thou none lov'st is most evident:
For thou art so possessed with murderous hate,
That 'gainst thy self thou stick'st not to conspire,
Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate
Which to repair should be thy chief desire.
O! change thy thought, that I may change my mind:
Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?
Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,
Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:
Make thee another self for love of me,
That beauty still may live in thine or thee.

18
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

29
When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

60
Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,
So do our minutes hasten to their end;
Each changing place with that which goes before,
In sequent toil all forwards do contend.
Nativity, once in the main of light,
Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crowned,
Crooked eclipses 'gainst his glory fight,
And Time that gave doth now his gift confound.
Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth
And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,
Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,
And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:
And yet to times in hope, my verse shall stand
Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

61
Is it thy will, thy image should keep open
My heavy eyelids to the weary night?
Dost thou desire my slumbers should be broken,
While shadows like to thee do mock my sight?
Is it thy spirit that thou send'st from thee
So far from home into my deeds to pry,
To find out shames and idle hours in me,
The scope and tenor of thy jealousy?
O, no! thy love, though much, is not so great:
It is my love that keeps mine eye awake:
Mine own true love that doth my rest defeat,
To play the watchman ever for thy sake:
For thee watch I, whilst thou dost wake elsewhere,
From me far off, with others all too near.

90
Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now;
Now, while the world is bent my deeds to cross,
Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow,
And do not drop in for an after-loss:
Ah! do not, when my heart hath 'scaped this sorrow,
Come in the rearward of a conquered woe;
Give not a windy night a rainy morrow,
To linger out a purposed overthrow.
If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last,
When other petty griefs have done their spite,
But in the onset come: so shall I taste
At first the very worst of fortune's might;
And other strains of woe, which now seem woe,
Compared with loss of thee, will not seem so.

116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

*above selections all written by William Shakespeare

I know it's a lot, but geez... it's hard to chose from over 150!

Pensacola Beach

I am stuck in a phase of having nothing to say. Here's some pictures of Pensacola Beach. I will be going back there in a couple weeks. Man! I miss those beaches--they are the best!

It's just beautiful... I can't wait!

Hopefully, my brain will start working again soon, and I will have something more substantial for you later!

Weekend Ramblings

Let the beach times begin!

Yep. I went to the beach Saturday. It was beautiful, but pretty windy and very crowded! Still was nice to get out there. I took Cinnamon with me. She absolutely LOVED running along the edge of the beach. She wore me out. I couldn't keep up with her! Anyways, on the way there, I saw an absolutely SWEET Ferrari. I kept trying to take pics out the windshield with my phone. Here's the best that I got:

I sure wouldn't mind taking that V12, who-knows-how-many-horsepower-engine for a spin!

So, if Saturday wasn't cool enough, Easter Sunday rocked! Our little church (at the most, we have 100 on Sunday mornings) does a community Easter sunrise service each year. Yesterday, we had 600+ in attendance! The Word was preached and many got saved. Praise the Lord.

Then, it got pretty emotional last night. One of our church members got shipped off to Iraq this morning. So last night we had a goodbye party type of thing for him. I've known him since I was just in diapers, so it was pretty tough to say goodbye. Anyhow, keep Mr. Gantt in your prayers as well as his wife when you think about it, along with all of our soldiers over there and their families here.

That is all my ramblings for now. =) Happy Monday.

I saved 3 lives today

I donated blood. Have you?

Truly Loved

The concept of love became increasingly blurred,
Slurred, and eventually not even preferred
Over being alone.

The shallow hearts had whispered their empty words,
I heard; my heart stirred momentarily,
But then broke, and retreated.

I promised myself no more confusion and dead-end conclusions.
I sought a resolution to the pain and delusion
Of this great intrusion upon my heart.

Maybe the answer was in building a wall to my emotions.
Devotion and attention-seeking motions would never again
Penetrate this stronghold.

However, darkness soon settled and requested a new solution.
Widespread pollution and stubborn refusion of love
Does not destroy its necessity.

Perhaps loving all, freely, openly, with no reservation
Would be the redeeming preservation
Of some form of love in my life.

But alas, this philosophy burns deep as well.
Into hell, and I fell completely apart
And finally, could no longer feel or be felt.

So this is the wreck, the hurting, lonely soul you have found.
Nothing profound; just a limp body on the ground
Needing the breath of life and love.

You touch me. You bring me close and hold me.
You fold me, and cold dissipates into your warmth
As you whisper softly in my ear.

You tell me you can teach me of true love; of passion,
And my reaction is quite a distraction
Because initially I’m very reluctant.

But you persist. You stop talking and start showing
Love is flowing, and I am glowing
In this previously unknown joy.

I let myself be truly loved for the first time,
And the rhyme and laughter divine that fill my soul
Heal the hurts of the past.

Gradually, I respond to your gentle urging
Purging out faults, and now surging with desire
To love you back.

So I thank you for giving love to me unreservedly
Now I see, I can be loved unselfishly;
Because I feel your heart.

With great wonder I face each new day;
And each way you say, “I love you;
You are precious.”

Just because I don't have much...

...doesn't mean everyone else has nothing to say.

We've got some good discussions going on at the Protestant Pub as well as the forum there.

Kc has posted some wonderfully informative and helpful articles regarding church discipline.

Stephanie has recently finished detailing her 8-day missions trip to Jamaica, complete with beautiful pictures.

And my good friend Lance has recently started a MSN Space. Go on over there to Lance's Lounge... "a place where one can always chill and speak what they feel", and leave him some encouraging comments. Tell him I sent ya'!

Everyone else I read has great stuff going on as well... I'm sorry, I just don't have the time to get it up here right now. So leave us comments promoting your blog and what you have going on over there.

Peace!

Does anyone understand ME?

Some things happen to use in life, and we just do not understand what is going on. Well, it's true for me, anyways. Some things look so right in our own eyes, and by our own understanding, and yet no one else seems to understand us or see it our way.

Do you ever wish that someone would just be able to look at you and understand how you're feeling; understand your needs at that very moment, without you having to go through the effort of explaining, and communicating, and hoping you won't be misunderstood? Would be nice, huh? Do you ever wish that someone could know how miserably you have failed, and just help you up, forgive, and get you going in the right direction once again without you having to go through the whole story of what you did, why you did it, what led you to do it, etc, etc.? Do you get irritated with friends for not noticing that , "Hell-lloo?? I'm hurting here... Can't you see it?"

The One we need to go to when we feel this way is usually the exact One we shy away from. We feel guilty for letting Him down. We feel ashamed for not being faithful. We feel embarrassed for not being true to the blood that bought us. We're too proud to admit our wrong and ask for forgiveness and grace once again.

But we can take comfort in the fact that He won't misunderstand us. He DOES already know how we feel and what we need. He simply asks us to humble ourselves, and confess our sins. He'll be faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us. He will get us through whatever we are facing that we don't understand. He made us. He knows us. He knows what He's doing in our lives, even when we don't understand it. And He calls to us, "Trust ME."

He is my lover, helper, and friend.
He loves me.
He loves me just the way I am.
He loves me enough to not let me stay the way I am.
He loves me by correcting me.
He loves me even when I don’t love back.
He helps me.
He helps me overcome my enemies.
He helps me through each day, and each moment.
He helps me cope in times of sorrow.
He helps me when I just don’t know what to do.
He’s my friend.
He’s my friend by listening to my cares.
He’s my friend by telling me what I need to hear.
He’s my friend by remaining loyal no matter what
He’s my friend by encouraging my spirit.


This old hymn is in my head today:

"Jesus is all the world to me, my life, my joy, my all;
He is my strength from day to day, without Him I would fall.
When I am sad, to Him I go, no other one can cheer me so;
When I am sad, He makes me glad, He’s my Friend."

What a woman needs

(You all may have received the same email a couple weeks ago. If so, I apologize for the redundancy. I don't have the time or thoughts to do anything new today. But... then again, why am I apologizing and explaining? If you don't like what you find here, you don't have to read it!) Have a great weekend!



Advice for the ladies.........decades too late!!

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section

Buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it

Buy a dog

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

Buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually

Buy a dog.


But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...

Then.................




Buy a cat! (You thought I was talking about a man didn't you?)

Time to Testify!

In an effort to encourage myself (and hopefully others) in the Lord, I want you to tell me what your favorite thing about God is. Maybe an attribute of His that blesses you, or your favorite promise, or just a thought that picks you up when you're down. Just pretend it's Sunday night Testimony time, and share away. It will be a blessing.

I'll start with something small. My favorite thing about God is that He understands me. He knows me personally. He never takes my words or actions the wrong way. He knows my deepest thoughts, wants, needs, desires. And He wants me to know Him that same way!

Your turn.

Weird Fact

Today at 3 seconds after two minutes after 1:00, it will be

01:02:03 04/05/06.

How cool is that?

The little things are HUGE

Okay, so I could complain today about how I didn't have "my space" this morning while getting ready for work. I could complain about leaving my cell phone at home, and having to turn around and get it, and therefore be stuck in gobs of traffic and be late to work. (yes, I said "gobs.") I could complain about how I forgot my hydrocortizone cream, and have had no relief for my itching poison oak today because of it. I could complain that my little dog broke my heart this morning by audibly crying when I shut the door and left her all alone... twice (because I had to go back for the phone, remember?) I could complain that my lunch plans fell through, or that work is being a butt, or that I can't afford to put gas in my Jeep.


BUT I'M NOT GOING TO. Nope. I'm not going to complain about any of that.


You know why? Because something really small made up for all those things. I was attempting to balance my checkbook (on a side note: you know, it's kind of scary that I'm responsible for balancing the books for the agencies of the whole state, and yet I can't seem to balance my own.)
So anyways, my online account kept saying I have more money than my register says I have. After going through months of records, I finally found where I had subtracted a deposit instead of adding it. DUH! Anyways, it made my day. Because, now instead of just adding the $60.00, I get to add $120.00 because I had originally subtracted it. Woo-hoo. It's like getting paid, except I really didn't get paid.


The smallest things are the biggest, I tell ya!

Poison Oak Itches

Really bad!