You want to know something that really bothers me? Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyways. So stop reading now if you know what's good for you!
What really, really bothers me is when a person doesn't even care to even TRY to understand me or what I'm saying. When I get the "don't explain; I won't understand" line, it just tears me up! I don't understand why someone would not WANT to understand. I guess it just bothers me more than it would most people because I DO use a lot of time and effort trying to understand people. That's what I do. When you say something, I'm thinking what made you say it; why you said it in that manner; what kind of response you may be looking for; what else can I tell went UN-said by what you DID say. I mean, yeah, I'm an analyzer I guess.
I need to stop letting things like this bother me. Not everyone cares to understand, and I shouldn't take it personal. I think that's the key to this whole thing. I take it as personal rejection if someone doesn't want to take the time to listen so they can understand. When, in reality, it's not personal rejection. It doesn't change our relationship or how they feel about me. They just don't place any importance on understanding, when I place much importance on it. I guess it boils down to a conflict of values and personalities.
Okay, I'm done with my self-psychology session. Goodness, I read through that and felt like I was both a patient and the psychologist treating myself. Crazy. Just wanted to think through that a little bit.
So, what do you all have planned for the weekend?
22 comments:
Hi Kristi:
I feel like a stranger in a foreign land these days - I haven't talked to you in a long time!
By the way, you're absolutely hilarious! I don't think you sound crazy: in fact, I could write a few PAGES about MY pet peeves - so you're doin pretty good by my book! ;)
My plans for the weekend:
After a serious time of introspective self-analysis :),(is that redundant?), I will be working. I work all day Sunday.
uhhh so going out on a limb, was this statement made by a male? (and I'm not man-hating, just recognizing that is it a quality mostly found in females that we want to understand something)
and kristi, I'm the same way so know that you are in good company (ha I just called myself good)
Stephanie, welcome back over here! You've been missed.
Cameron: ha ha.
Katie: how'd ya' ever guess it was a male?!! And, yes, it is reassuring to know I have good company on this one!
i love that you engaged in an entire dialogue of your emotional response to a certain phrase, and then you're all "so, what do you have going on this weekend?" it made me laugh!
boys are just like that sometimes. so aloof. so clueless.
yep, Jes, that's just how I roll. I think through a situation once, and then as far as I'm concerned, it's done; over; settled; and I'm not going there again!
I added the "so what to you have planned for the weekend?" line just to make that perfectly clear. =)
Hey now...
I'm definitely a male, and I feel teh same way as Kristi on this one. It really feels like someone is disrespecting you when they don't want to take the time to try and understand where you're coming from and why.
I'm wondering whether this is over an emotionally-charged issue for both parties. Sometimes people don't know how to handle communication of emotions. I come from environment in which communication of emotions in a positive way and whys behind things didn't come often. Sometimes they wanted to; but just didn't know how. And for myself, there were times that I was just too torn up to handle communication at the time the other party wanted to talk.
Yes, that is not good.
I'm an analyzer and understander myself. What you describe would drive me crazy too.
No big plans for the weekend, just laundry and hanging out with the kids.
Did I respond to this yet?
"I take it as personal rejection if someone doesn't want to take the time to listen so they can understand."
You obviously know a number of men-- that generally sums guys up in a nutshell... not taking the time to listen.
I don't feel personally rejected when people do that to me, but I visited that Shakespearean Insulter and boy did my feelings get hurt!
Do I really come across as a maggoty fopplewoth?
Hey, Who can not understand someone that just says what she is feeling? Hmm? DO you know any someone like that? I know a female from SC and a male like that from TX. Never the less you are not alone. What ticks me off is when they immediately start making jokes and have a bunch of people laughing. Thats what ticks me off, but I look for those moments. One day a guy did that in class, I took his joke and showed how he was acting like a moron. Later, after class he came up to me and apologized for being an A-hole. That blew me away! Anyways, don't worry about it Kristi they are just being A-holes. Am I allowed to say that?
No you're not allowed to say that Josh?!?
Read 1 Timothy 6:20 and Colossians 4:6 ;-)
Hi Kristi, I can so relate to you on this pet peeve. I have it too. With regards to the weekend, I was trying to help a close friend understand me more lol.
Hey Kristi,
Good sharing! My weekend is quality family time on Sunday, attending services with family & dinner as I work most of the time, hardly had time for them during the week!
You have a good week ahead! The Lord is with you, always, blessing all your needs, be it emotionally or material wealth, He is the almighty God! Christ Jesus, in Him we trust!
Kristi, I often feel the same way. It's frustrating for sure.
random q for you: what church in columbia do you attend? my parents (in-law) live there, and go to Gateway, and I was wondering if you went the same place?
Jes, I go to a church a couple hundred feet from Gateway, actually! It's Victory Bible Baptist. We're pretty small. But, yeah, I drive by there all the time!
Kristi, you're a very great genuine listener who is much loved by your friends :)
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