Lately, I have recognized a problem in my way of thinking. What it boils down to is that I have lost hope. (Well, if you know me at all, or have read much here, you can probably guess what hope that is!!!) I started feeling that it was disillusional of me to really believe that there is a great guy out there who loves the Lord, who wants to serve Him, who would love me, who would get along with my family, who would pass my pastor's approval, I mean, this is all a bit much to ask and expect, right? Shouldn't I just settle for what I can get? Superman is already taken, right? God wouldn't want me to wait around in some fantasy world, hoping for this dream man to come my way, would He?
I noticed with this loss of hope, also came a loss of contentment. Nothing was going right. There was something wrong with everything and everyone. Life was just a pain-filled existence while waiting to go to Heaven.
Well, last night, what would I come across, other than some notes I had taken from Dr. Jim Schettler in college? And what were these notes? Two definitions:
Hope--stedfast confidence in God's sovereign care for my future
Contentment--the faith that God owns, controls, and provides everything in my life by His love.
These definitions are packed full of truth. And they are exactly the things that I need to put back into my life. God IS going to provide His absolute best for me, because He loves me. The same is true for all of God's children. Just have faith and let Him work and do what He wills in your life. Don't lose hope. Why should we? God hasn't lost His sovereign care for us. He hasn't stopped loving us.
And the best thing about it is He WANTS to listen to us. We can pour out our heart to God, and He is there to give us just what we need. He won't condemn us for being weak in faith like other Christians do sometimes. He won't point out all our faults and failures, and make us feel unforgiven or unfit to serve. Here is the verse He gave me last night:
Psalm 62:8 "Trust in Him at all times, you people. Pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us."
15 comments:
What a wonderful post! If you don't mind me saying so (oh,oh), while God likely has the PERFECT mate for you, that He already has living on this planet, and that He wants to bless your heart with, also I think that it is true that there is a part of our hearts that we long to have satisfied by a mate, but that can only be satisfied by God. So in that respect, there is a loss of hope. Like when God told Abraham that He was going to give him a son, and Abraham really, really wanted that, and he eventually got that, but there was some seed of hope that was in the original desire for a son, that was not going to be fulfilled by having that son. So God had him wait all of those years, so when the son came, he was blessed, but when the son came, Abraham also had purified from that original longing, that seed that was fulfilled in knowing and serving God Himself. Does that make sense? Hope that you don't mind me ranting about all of that. I think it is wonderful to be longing and praying and waiting and preparing for that mate, and I bet that God put that longing there so that He will/can fulfill it and you'll be blessed by it, by Him and by him.
Kristi,
Let me encourage you to keep your hope in Him. He truly is sovereign. I was 42 before I got married... to wonderful Polly and now we have a wondeful son as well. But I learned in those 12 years of being a Christian and waiting on the Lord that He is sovereign and it would be in His timing not mine.
I once had a contentious singles' pastor ask me why I wasn't married if I wanted to be... I knew where he was going. His philosophy was: marry anyone that is a Christian... if you really want to be married. But I answered him with the shorter catechism question 7 of the Westminster Confession of Faith...
The question is: What are the decrees of God.
The decress of God are his eternal purpose, according to the counsel of his will, whreby, for his own glory, he hath foreordained whatsoever comes to pass.
I had that memorized because it reminded me, and still does, that He is control, He is God, and I am not. He will fulfill your desires in His timing and not mine.
The other thing that I would point out is that many people believe that they should pray for x, y, and z in a spouse. I think that is a bit misguided. We should pray for God's will to be done, and that we find what He wants for us, not the other way around.
You might get everything on your list, you might not. The point is that we get the spouse that is best for us and glorifies God the most.
Hope this helps...
I agree with "an ordinary Christian". This post is very encouraging. If you are not careful, it is easy to forget how God is able and willing to provide for every facet of our lives, including a mate. There are many times when I have been impatient with God concerning a mate. I'm sure there are a lot of people who feel as you do. You have spoken to me about it, and the characteristics you have described for a mate is not unrealistic. As a man, I am humbled by the attributes you have mentioned, knowing I am far off from those things. Faith is very important. I'm glad God is interested in the things we want. Faith works on patience, and i think this goes along with "hope and contentment".
Kristi, knowing you, i believe you should receive nothing less than the mate you have described. I will pray for you.
Thank you.
M.
There are so many wise words here beginning with your own. One more thing I hope you find encouraging is knowing that even though you wait for him there is no lack of love for you. ;-)
There is not much I can add to all these wise words and encouragements but this:
Try not to let your impatience rob you of hope and joy. According to God's will, He will provide, in His time and it's well worth waiting for:-)
We love you and keep you in our prayers.
God's Grace.
cool beans girl. glad you looked up that verse i told you about. God is always on time, and would God ever give His child less than the very best?
Hey Kristi, I love this post, one because I've been in that exact place so many times, in fact I think I live in that place most of the time, and two both of your definitions seem to point out one amazing thing to me - GOD. And I know that sounds so simple, but look at the definitions, neither of them say anything about what we bring to the table, what we have to do, both of them talk about the amazing work that God does in our lives, because of the JOY it brings Him. And the funny thing is that is the hardest part of all of this for me. The faith, the trust, the letting go of what we can do to get to the resolution, and just believing in Him, in His work, in His plans, and resting in knowing that if His character is true, if His love is true, if He is true, then He is already prviding His absolute best for us right now, and sometimes it is just in His timing to reveal that to us.
Love the verse that you quoted. I love how scripture seems to answer every question we have.
Ordinary Christian: Yes, it makes sense, and thanks for sharing that with me.
Pastor Timothy: words of wisdom. I like what you said about finding what God wants for us and not the other way around.
M: Thanks for your thoughts
Kc: yes, those are very encouraging words you left me, and I do feel the love from you all!
Logan: thanks for the advice and prayers!
Corry: you added greatly to the words of wisdom, even though you didn't think you would!!
Julie: Welcome back, and I appreciate the prayers!
Jim: Get to work!! ha ha
Katie: Wonderful thoughts you've added. It is definitely all God that brings good things to our lives!
Kristi,
I'm going to offer one more bit of encouragement too. Being single is also a calling of God. It's hard being lonely when you really want to be someone's helpmeet. I know. But use this time to grow more in the Lord. It is a time of perseverence and waiting upon the Lord.
Use this time to learn about what God wants for a wife and a mother. The world doesn't teach that. They laugh at us.
Being a wife and a mother is the highest calling women have. It's not popular and it's not glorious in many's view. But I really don't care what they think, if it's what God wants. They don't train girls to be godly wives and mothers anymore. I wasn't. Many/most of my friends weren't either. Now, you talk about on the job training! I thank God that I have godly Titus 2 women in my life that are helping me on this. I encourage you to use this time of singleness to grow as a future wife and mother. It will be a blessing.
KRISTI
THAT GREAT GUY OUT THERE ONLY NEEDS YOUR APPROVAL, NOT YOUR PARENTS,GRANDPARENTS,YOUR PASTOR OR FRIENDS, YOU GOT TO LIVE WITH HIM,I KNOW YOU WILL PICK A GOOD ONE BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD ONE. DON'T BE IN A HURRY YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME.(HE'S GOT TO MEET MY APPROVAL) HA,HA,HA
kristi:
What more can I add: Only that you are still young so time is on your side.
When I was in college, one of my roommates always had the same girlfriend (they are now married) and the other roommate had many without seeming to try. ME? I wa looking like crazy and couldn't find one - until I stopped looking. True, she's now the ex (well...)
I've been without a relationship for over a year and a half and I know how you feel... you want to find that special someone. And you will but on God's time, not yours. I myself am trying the hard way to remember that. There is someone out there for you, and you may already know him - just that His timing isn't there yet in the relationship sense.
Hope all of my rambling makes some sense..... BTW June birthdays ROCK!!!
your post spoke to me. i shouldn't lose hope. thank you for sharing this and for your prayers. may God hold you and keep you. kristi, you're always in my prayers. thank you so much for everything.
God bless!
we love you very much, Kristi :)
Pops, I was all excited about what you wrote until you added that last line, that he has to meet your approval--that's the toughest of all!!! =) Happy New Year!
Kristi,
You are in a good place. Even though its rough; it's a place where the Lord can constantly speak words of life to you. And because you asre in this place; it will be easier for you to hear him. So be encouraged and hang on....thanks for being so brutally honest and vulnerable on your blog.
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