Ok, I need to let out some steam before I explode. I think I am in major need of an attitude adjustment!
Once upon a time, there was a man who had three kids. Two daughters and a son. He was never very involved in their lives. He couldn't ever see past himself to be able to see their need for a father. So, the two girls grow up, and go to college. Only thing they ever heard from him was occasional "feel sorry for me; I have it so bad" letters. Now the son is in college, and suddenly this man feels the need to try to "make up for lost time" or something. He's been giving his son money and sending big care packages (not one he made and sent himself of course; that takes too much effort!). He's all interested in every detail of his life now, and wants to know from his wife everything that is going on with their son. But, does he ever ask either of the daughters what's going on with them? Has he ever sent his oldest daughter a package, (who by the way lives lots farther away than the son at college)? The only time he's acts interested in the daughters' lives is when it will make him look good. Sorry, but your son doesn't even want this sudden attention and attempt to "make-up." If he's anything like me, what he really wants to see is you start being a good husband and thinking about your wife's needs. He wants to see you start being responsible with your finances. He wants to see you be serious about the Lord instead of just acting the part. He wants to see you get over yourself and your pity party! He doesn't want your money. It doesn't impress him!
Shhwooo. Okay. I'm done. Sorry for all that venting. But man!! It just tears me up sometimes. I know all my attitudes are not right. I need to give it to God. It's so hard to love sometimes!!
9 comments:
You can vent and you can count on sympathy and prayer for this situation. Now here's the part you might not want but because I care and think you need it you get that too. ;-)
Remember your anger is a disappointment and from what I know from reading here I’m confident your anger is valid. You’ll have to deal with that first but again you have my confidence. After this I think you’ll find you’ve got a choice. Do you accept this is at least an attempt at change and try to encourage those involved to find a better way or do you hold your resentment for what should have been and condemn? Once again I have great confidence in you.
Of course you can vent. Actually, saying it is so much better then keeping it in. It gives immediate relief to the feelings and makes space for consideration and self judgement. While keeping it in it can only fester and come out in actions. So vent, girl. All you like. There is no condemnation in venting, but there is in acting upon those feelings:-)
And after that, consider your part and the options you have.
keeping you in our prayers.
God's Grace.
You guys are the best. It took me a long time to learn that it is better to let things out and let them go, then to hold it inside--that only makes me miserable and doesn't solve any problems.
I really appreciate your prayers and concerns. I feel like such a baby that this bothers me so much. I should be over it by now. Every time I think I am over it though, something else happens, and I lose it!
But I'm not going to whine and complain any more, because then I'm being just like him!
Thanks so much!
Kristi, I know how it is not to even have a father around, but to have the opportunity to have your father under the same roof and for it to be that way...I can't imagine! Especially since he is a Christian. Well, I am praying for you. The Lord will give grace where we humans fail! Love ya, girl! :)
kristi
Unfortunately things like this happen in peoples lives. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.
That's why, even though I'm a divorcee with two children, I want to be very much a part of their lives, as much as is possible seeing that they don't live with me full time. They spend every weekend with me and I love every minute of it.
They are young, 8 and 6, but I tell them all of the time how much I love them and that their mom and I are divorced not because of anything they did but because of things that she and I did or didn't do.
I here ya and kind of know what your going through, but from a stepfather. Some people, i have learned, do not know haow to be a father figure. I ahve learned that all I can do is love him and hope and pray that God changes his heart. The number one thing that i looked for in a husband is, is a leader and a good father figure to my children, someone that I also can learn from! Love ya!
Excuse the spelling on the previous comment. I was in a hurry.
hey, thanks for the comment, but who are you?
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