Friday, September 30, 2005

Interracial Dating

No, she didn't go there!!!! Oh, yes I did!!!! Why is this topic such a powder-keg in Christianity today? Or is it just Southeastern Christianity? I don't know.

Okay--bottom line: Is it right or wrong for Christians (or anyone for that matter) to date/marry outside of their race? And why do you feel that way?

Second question: Is there a difference between a white person marrying a black person, and say a white marrying a hispanic, or an asian marrying a black? If you make a distinction there, please tell me why. I do not see any difference in principle.

(Just a side note, in case anyone was wondering, no I'm not currently dating or looking to date someone of another race right now. I just hear a lot about this and wonder why it's such a big deal.)

If you have a godly Christian guy and girl, and they happen to be different colors, why should that stop them from dating? I find nothing in the Bible that would teach this. Rather, I find God telling us to judge without partiality to race, that we are all of the same flesh and blood, that we shouldn't live for externals and temporary, but rather for eternal things, that the heart is what really matters, and not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

Christians are supposed to be known and characterized by their Christ-like love for each other. Why does it seem like the Christian community is the only group still struggling with accepting the interracial thing? Is it only those brothers and sisters within your race that we are to love? NO! So, if I love all people as Christ did, am I going to deem some inferior because of their skin color? No, again. Therefore, if I know of a interracial dating couple, and I know both individuals are believers, why should I automatically think there is something wrong with it?

So, I hear people say things like this, "Well, I guess there is nothing Biblically wrong with it, but...
1.it's hard on the marriage to adjust to a person from a different culture, or
2.it's hard on the kids, or
3.other people will judge you and think your relationship is un-Christian."

Well, okay. First of all, I think that when any two people marry, they have to adjust to a new "culture." These are two totally different people, with two totally differnt backgrounds and experiences. What does color have to do with it? That adjustment must take place in every marriage.

Secondly, the line about it being hard on the kids, to me, seems really outdated. Mixed kids (of any two races) are some of the most beautiful people I have ever met. And I really don't think they get made fun of near as much as they did 10 or 20 years ago, unless I am just totally blinded and unaware. (All kids pick on other kids, and if they weren't mixed, I'm sure kids would find something else to pick on them about.)

Thirdly, you can't find a Biblical reason to support your prejudice, so you say I shouldn't do something because it will look bad to or offend others? Real crafty!! If the interracial relationship honors the Lord and points to a Christ-given love, I really don't think it would take much time at all for others to stop calling them "un-Christian". Some people are just racist. It is sad, but true. They were born and raised that way, and remain that way. Even if you take time to share with them why that attitude is so wrong, they will never change. I don't believe God would want a couple to end a good Christian relationship because of opposition from people like that. Think about it, will this relationship keep people from coming to Christ? No, actually I believe the opposite is true. I believe it will show people more of the kind of love Christ has that goes way beyond the superficial.

Now I'm not saying that everyone should go out there and start dating people of other races!! This isn't God's will for everyone, or even for most people. But we have to remember that God has a unique plan for each person. And just because someone else is not doing things the way we did doesn't make it wrong!!! So, if that is God's will for someone, don't hinder it. Let God work in the situation. Allow Him to give you peace about it instead of automatically deciding it is wrong. If they are doing things God's way, encourage and support them instead of being judgmental.

So, what do you guys think? Agree? Disagree? Have a different perspective?

5 comments:

Kc said...

Kristi first let me say that I find no scriptural argument against interracial relationships. I further believe that to be a very personal matter between the individuals involved in the relationship. Realizing that it a very personal matter and outside our right or responsibility we should likewise agree that anyone who might find any relationship repulsive have every right to refuse to have any part of it. We have no right or responsibility to judge them either.

Should a 45-year-old woman date a 20-year-old man? Should a 38-year-old man date 18-year-old girls? I think you see my point. Many people prefer to abstain from personal relationships with people who are in a relationship they find personally disgusting. I think anyone in a non-conventional relationship would be foolish not to expect that. You’d be surprised at the number of American women who are offended because I married a Dutch girl! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hi , im a Independent Fund. Bible believing Baptist, consevitive republican, wait there is more im also black. Yes odd isn't a black republican. as add it may be its true, only a remnent from my understanding but we exist. well personally i find the whole dating thing difficult i find myself running into the whole unequaly yoke thing. for example: i would find a strong, faithfull black bueaty with spiritual levels on heard of in a young lady, but she was penticostle , that leaves us unequaly yoke because of different doctrinal believes. i have met another girl whom i just adore. she is just amazing in every aspec, very devoted, most devoted female i know, very strong believe and faith but we are unequaly yoke she is muslim. But wait there is one more type i would find those that are of similier background as for as fund. Independent Bible believing and yet im told that we are unequally yoke, we have like faith same doctrinal believes yet we are unequaly yoke, it doesnt make sense, oh i forgot to mention she is white, and from my description of myself above you'll see that i mention that i was black. like i said before this dating thing doesnt come easy for me i keep running into the whole unequaly yoke thing, but that 's ok i came up with three conclusion to fix the problem, #1 go against my convictions and seer my conscience, and quit the spirite within me telling me such and such practice is unBiblicle, just become more liberal. #2 If you cant beat them join them, just convert to islam and worry never more of such racisim and racis religiuse practices.#3 scrub my skn with brital till i turn white or what ever MJackson took to morph into a white man. either which one i take is unBiblical #1 Quench not the Spirit, #2 watch out for false prophets #3 I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that includes the color of my skin. well im back to square one that is the whole unequaly yoke thing, but why do i like being a concervitive so much?, Doenst Islam just mean surrender to God, am i not surrendered to him?, Tanning beds makes white woman dark as to ______ makes black man white????

Kristi B. said...

Kc, that is a good principle. It gets a little sticky though when the ones repulsed by the relationship are family. Then the one in the relationship is forced to chose between that person and family.

Fro, thanks for sharing. If you convert to Islam just to get married, I'm gonna kick your butt!!! Anyways, I can tell you've been working on your spelling a bit. I know it's difficult when English is not your first language. I understand your predicament of finding someone who is of the same beliefs and convictions as we are, and also of the same race. But you've got to trust God to send you the right person in His timing. (I have to tell myself that all the time.)

Kc said...

We'll pray for both of you and I know God provides. ;-)

Unknown said...

1)And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.
2)And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard it.
3)(Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.)
4)And the LORD spake suddenly unto Moses, and unto Aaron, and unto Miriam, Come out ye three unto the tabernacle of the congregation. And they three came out.
5)And the LORD came down in the pillar of the cloud, and stood in the door of the tabernacle, and called Aaron and Miriam: and they both came forth.
6)And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I the LORD will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream.
7)My servant Moses is not so, who is faithful in all mine house.
8)With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of the LORD shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?
9)And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them; and he departed.
10)And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam became leprous, white as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous.
11)And Aaron said unto Moses, Alas, my lord, I beseech thee, lay not the sin upon us, wherein we have done foolishly, and wherein we have sinned.
12)Let her not be as one dead, of whom the flesh is half consumed when he cometh out of his mother's womb.
13)And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, Heal her now, O God, I beseech thee.
14)And the LORD said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? let her be shut out from the camp seven days, and after that let her be received in again.
15)And Miriam was shut out from the camp seven days: and the people journeyed not till Miriam was brought in again.

That is Numbers 12:1-13.

I don't think I have to explain anything to you. The whole verse is self explanatory by itself.

All the other excuses , such as it is hard for the kids , hard to know culture , etc... are just a cover up for the 21st century racism. Well I could say more, but it doesn't prove any point besides offending some 'racial' groups. But obviously the issue seems to be prevalent in the South, which is ofcourse obvious and expected.